Love(part 2). A Way Of Life.

      HOLA!!!( Hello)

(Deep breath). If you read last week’s ‘Love. A Way of Life’ post; you may recall that I shared how difficult it was to get my thoughts together prior to writing about the element: “Love”. Well, part of the reason was because I wasn’t quite sure what type of love to focus on considering all of the options. After talking to a good friend, she suggested I make “Love. A Way of Life” a 2-part post(Thanks, Chan!). So, last week I focused on loving one self. This week the focus is shifting to loving someone else.

‘Love(part 2). A Way Of Life”

LOVE
an intense feeling of deep affection
a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone
a personified figure of love
affection based on admiration, benevolence or common interests

Let’s begin by clarifying that before you can truly love someone else; you must love yourself, genuinely. If you need more detail, please refer to last week’s post.

As the definitions reflect, there are different ways that you can love another person. For the purpose of this post we will discuss two types of love. Unconditional love which is easiest explained by the love we feel for our family members or those who are “like family” and intimate love which can be described as the love you have for someone you are intimate(not just sexually) with. In the ‘A Way Of Life’ series both types of love are equally as important to lead a healthy lifestyle. Some may argue that love is unnecessary to survive. However, pay attention to how happy those people are. EXACTLY! As human beings, we naturally love to be loved and vice versa. Humans have emotions which is the one thing(other than our thumbs) that separates us from animals.(A little scary considering that some humans appear emotionless!) Unconditional love is most likely one that comes easily to many. Most of us have family or family-like people in our lives that we love unconditionally. No matter how upset they make you or how much you disagree with them; you love them! Without these people in our lives, life would be less satisfying. Who would you share your accomplishments with? What if you need advice? For the most part, these people seem to be around during good and bad times but more importantly they accept you for who you are. Unconditional love is a necessity. Be thankful for those who love you unconditionally.

The other is ‘intimate love’. Oh, intimate love! We all yearn for this type of love. This is the type of love that makes you smile so big that you don’t care who’s looking. The love that gives you butterflies in your stomach(MEN: stop pretending like you don’t feel this). It makes you do things that you never thought you would and you refuse to apologize for it. This love is amazing! Many look for it while others choose not to bother because of past experiences. So, why is something so amazing so hard to have in your life? I’m sure we all have a laundry list of answers to that question. However, for the purpose of this post; I would like to focus on what this love should be.

At this point in life, we have all had a type of intimate love. For most of us, we probably haven’t married the first person we loved and for those of you that have; feedback is encouraged and congratulations! :)

Example:
I like you. You like me. We get to know each other. I like you more. You like me more. We tell each other. We get know each other more. I love you. You love me. We tell and show each other. I’m in love with you. You’re in love with me. We show each other. We decide to be together forever. We live happily ever after.

Simple, right!!! That’s it. No need for me to keep writing. HA!!! Well, if it was only that simple; the divorce rate wouldn’t be 50% and 90% of my friends(male & female) wouldn’t be single or wishing they we’re single. So what’s the problem? Ideally, you meet a person and you can tell if you like them right away. This may be different for men but for the most part I think both men and women know when someone has the “potential” to be ‘the one’. Somewhere, between meeting the person and loving the person, our priorities change and we let things get in the way of the feeling we call, ‘Love’. We can come up with many reasons why but I prefer to pinpoint the initial reason to make it easier for all of us. I will use myself as an example!(I may regret this!!!) Lol... Here it goes...

I love hard! It’s the only way I know how to love and I don’t make excuses for it. Nowadays, people don’t have this mentality. It can be scary to “love hard” because the possibility of disappointment is prevalent. In order to have this intimate love; you must allow yourself to be vulnerable. You don’t walk into a job interview thinking you’re not going to get the job. So, why walk into a relationship thinking someone is going to break your heart. Although, I love hard; it’s taken me a long time to get to a point where being vulnerable is comfortable for me. Yesterday, I made a decision. The next man that has the potential to be “the one” will not get the “guarded” me. He will get the me that loves hard and is willing to be vulnerable regardless of the circumstance. This is not easy for me and don’t get me wrong; I’m not telling you to overlook your intuition or disregard your common sense. Nevertheless, I feel it’s only fair to leave all baggage(past experiences, speculations, judgements, investigative skills, etc.) behind in order to move forward and allow myself (_____________<----insert your name here) to genuinely feel intimate love.

***Feel free to join me on this brave journey!*** ;)

For those of you who are in a relationship where you feel intimate love is present; enjoy every minute of it! Appreciate it. Flaunt it. Love it and continue to work on yourself in order to maintain a good balance between self, unconditional and intimate love.

Things to remember:

It’s easy to date different people! It’s life changing to be with 1 person for the rest of your life.
Love is like any other emotion. It needs to be expressed in order for it to be felt.
Stop playing ‘love’ games. No need to be selfish. Either you do or you don’t.
Love should not be stressful. Re-evaluate your situation if it is.
Everyone deserves intimate love. Yes, even you! Never, ever settle for anything less!

So, there it goes! If this blog post doesn’t trigger any thoughts...check your pulse! Lol...

Again, I thank all of you for your time and feedback! I look forward to writing knowing that it may benefit at least one person other than myself.

~Frances
www.francescordova.com
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Twitter: @FrancesCordova